What am I going to do?
What am i going to do …
It’s not worry. It’s not a fear problem. It’s an awareness that I don’t want to waste time anymore. So with my time, what am I going to do to make my life one that flourishes and give the best that I am.
What am I going to do to work towards that end?
Sheesh. I woke up at 4am this morning. And quickly became wide awake. It happens from time to time, and I mostly just scroll till I get sleepy again. But today was different. Besides bemoaning the fact I'm awake at such an hour ... I did some hard thinking. It was all around ... what am I going to do.
We all have that particular space where our soul lives. A place that you are on one end of the spectrum either healthy and thriving or at the other end crying for help.
I use a PERMA+ME assessment developed by Lark's Song to help me keep tabs on where I am at any given moment. This morning was all about the first E for engagement and the A for achievement. I've been struggling in those areas for years.
Maybe you can relate ... especially in the workplace. For the most part, engagement at work is hard because I get problems rather than projects. (I love me a good project! I thrive in a project environment.) For various reasons (cough cough patriarchy, ageism, etc.), So as far as achievement, I've felt incredibly underused and unfulfilled.
So what does one do?
Well, I thought about it and literally coached myself. What would I be curious about with a person who brought this situation to me?
So I asked myself, "What’s there that you do like?"
And yes, I came up with several things: incredible flexibility, close to home, in their own way, kind people.
Then I thought about, "In a perfect, equitable world, what would your day to day look like? What would you see yourself doing?"
Oh gosh ... good question; I like that one! And I just let my mind wander and imagine. I could see getting a couple of part-time volunteers to take over some of the low fruit, so I concentrate on developing training (which is my background) for new staff, volunteers in the various areas where people serve (I work in a church). I would spend time with people coaching them and even developing workshops to help women step up more and be more open. I would love to expand our current weekly newsletter to include larger articles and even have a separate one for women. Well, you get the point. My mind went on a real journey, and I wrote down a ton of ideas.
I ended up finally asking, “What are you going to do?”
From realizing I’m not going to change the people there—in my lifetime anyway (nor could I realistically)—I know I can change me. I also know that my worth isn’t based on that particular job. Oh … you want to know why I don’t just get a different job? Several reasons: on the positive side, those noted above. On the negative? I’m not under 40. I’m a woman. I’ve actually heard it said to me, “we’re looking for a younger perspective in this role.” Sheesh. Discriminate much?
So … you might want to know … what am I going to do? Here’s three things:
I’m going to start with a conversation. With my boss. Ask him what skill, talent, gift is he not tapping into in me … and to think over that question about everyone working there. And to think, what’s possible?
Then I’m going to work on my self-talk… again! If you haven’t heard of Jon Acuff, check him out. He’s got some amazing material on that and how to turn it around.
Finally, I’m going to develop that workshop I’ve been thinking about; and if it’s not used where I work, I’ll incorporate it here on my website. Win-win.
That’s what I’m going to do (and wow—all of that so early!).
Come to think of it, What are you going to do?
If you could use some coaching to help you move forward towards living in potentialing, contact us.
